Changing Scenes

Our Theme: Changing Scenes
Everybody has their reservations about starting college, whether is leaving a familiar home or just having trouble adjusting to a strange new environment. These things are common with almost any starting freshman. I think that most people believe they are truly alone once college begins, but they really don’t know how “together” they are with hundreds of other students that are experiencing identical feelings. In a sense, we’re all together on the fact that we were scared to start college, and have our specific reasons to be doubtful of ourselves and our whole college experience. There are many issues we can discuss about the whole predicament of “starting college,” and most of these issues can apply to any random person.

Reading over our entries, I know that we all share at least one thing in common amongst our group: our families. We’re essentially leaving family behind or growing apart from our families. In high school, our families are there for us to keep an eye on us. Everyone hates having the restrictions of their parents in high school, but now some of us are realizing that they appreciated that sense of security that we get from out parents just being close. One thing to also consider is that our families may include close friends, and even teachers (family is a broad term). These people essentially grew up with us, or again, watched over us during high school. When starting college, we lose these people and have to develop a whole new network of friends and other people to build up a “family” again. The first weeks of college were almost a test to see if students can deal with the emotional pressure of being alone, or less attached to the social infrastructure that lasted them throughout the past four years. It’s amazing to think about how so many people are going through the same things as ourselves. The similarities are there in everyone, and we shouldn’t ignore them.

Another thing that we must consider is the great number of people that are coming out of state and even from surrounding areas to whatever college it may be. These people are experiencing a completely new and strange environment that they’ve never even fathomed before. When considering the effect a new living condition has on a person, you must consider several things. With students out of state, there’s the whole shock of the culture. The University of Memphis is located in the “Mid - South” region of the Southern United States, and thus prides itself as being “Southern.” This brings up stereotypes and assumptions that any person foreign to the region would immediately expect. And also, the people going to the University of Memphis might receive the out of state person with some scrutiny based on projected images on that person’s culture (it’s “culture shock” basically). College campuses are a homogenization of culture from all around the world. It’s a big change for everyone, though admittedly harder for some people more than others.

Our country is made up of many different regions, all varying in their sense of culture, speech, and morals. A silent battle is prominent among two of the larger ones that I’ve lived in: the North and the South. When I moved here two years ago, I was appalled at the culture shock. Southerners were supposed to nice and hospitable. Instead, I was introduced the "Murder Mall," also known as Hickory Ridge Mall. I also always keep a fully-loaded can of mace by my side. But it isn't just the crime in the city; it's the inbreds that live in the suburbs. They talk funny and slow. They ride around in big trucks with Rebel flags and drink cheap beer.

When we first started looking at houses down here, I noticed that nearly every one had a sign within their house that said "This house will serve the Lord," or something like that. It became apparent that we were in the "Bible Belt." I was born and raised Catholic. There are no Catholic churches down here. But it's okay, because I don't really like church anyways. And when I tell people that they usually look at me like I'm going to hell because church is good (at least when you're blinded by your faith it is). The number of churches in Collierville is probably equivalent to the number of bars up there.

I can appreciate a nice, little accent, but the Southern draws have to go. Maybe it is just because everything is in slow motion down here. The other day I was at the Honors Welcome Dinner and my suitemate happened to be at the same table. We were making small talk with the rest of the people at our table when someone asked where I was from and I told them Pittsburgh. My suitemate looked at me and simply said, "Ohhhh, you're from up north so it's an accent. I thought it was just a speech impediment." I didn't know whether it laugh and shrug it off or to give her the death stare.

It just doesn't feel like anyone loves there city. I know it's hard with all of the crime reports, but Memphis really does have a lot to offer. Collierville is Memphis. Cordova is Memphis. Hell, even Munford is Memphis. In Pittsburgh, people took pride in their city. We loved the Steelers and we knew when and where every Wing Night in the city was. It was a melting pot of ethnicities: Italians, Pols, Ukrainians, Irish, and Germans. It was more than black or white. It was the Steel City and it was tough. People didn't come from money; people worked in the steel mills for a living. College probably would have led me to take out tons of student loans (thank God for the lottery scholarship and the University of Memphis one I got). But at least I knew where I had came from and I wasn't trying to leave. I get that vibe that in Memphis people are either leaving or wanting to leave.

Part of the culture shock is learning how to meet new people. It happens anytime one switches places, schools, or towns. Sure, regions have their own sense of identity, but on a smaller scale, that sense of identities can exist within towns, too. Moving is never easy, even if in the end it works out. The transitional period can last a lifetime and one never forgets the memories and friends left behind.

"College is a new step, you're going to love it!" That's what everyone i talked to about college told me. I never really was worried about where to go to college. I applied to 3, visited two, and ended up getting the best feeling at this school. Moving to Memphis ended up being, and continues to be, such an adustment for me. In Franklin, where I'm from, I could go anywhere (the mall, the grocery store, the movies) and see smiling faces of people I knew.
Choosing to come to Memphis not knowing a single person is a decision I'm not quite sure i completely understood I was making. Yes, I had said the words and thought about it somewhat, but it really takes living somewhere to get a feel for the city. When I came to visit, I saw the best Memphis had to offer. I stayed at the Peabody, went to the Grizzlies-Lakers game, ate at the Rendevous, the whole kit and kaboodle. I feel like that impression of Memphis led me to make my decision about the school. Shortly after moving here for school, I realized those things are not Memphis. Yes they are a part of Memphis, but a very minute part. I simply hadn't prepared myself for what was in store.

I am somewhat spoiled coming from the town I lived in. Franklin is beautiful, there is no crime, I always left my car unlocked everywhere I went, and people were beyond friendly. I was shocked when the first night after I moved here I met these 2 guys who were carrying guns and acted like it was an everyday thing to do. I don't think after over 10 years of living there I knew of one person from Franklin who carried a gun and on the first night in Memphis I met not one, but two. They acted like you must carry some sort of protection because anything could happen. This concept was too much for my sheltered mind to comprehend.
Needless to say, this was not a good first impression of Memphis. The city seems to be full of culture and city life, but I don't know how to find any of that yet. And even if I did know how to, I wouldn't really know how to get involved. This is all a result of not knowing anyone or knowing anything about the city. The farthest I have ever moved is from Nashville to Franklin, which is all of about 25 miles. Now I am three and a half hours away from home. Sometimes I ask myself, what was I thinking?? Realizing that this is what is best for me is also a concept that is very hard for me to grasp at this present moment. I keep having to tell myself that millions of college students have done this before and survived.

Survival is the key word though. Learning how to make it on your own. That seems to be the biggest problem I keep running into. I grew up the last of five, so I was always used to having my brothers and sister there to help me. At school, everyone knew I was a Fehrenbach, and most of the kids either knew me, or the older kids had known my sister, which in turn led to knowing me. I had a person to go to for everything. I could call my sister if I wanted to check out, call my brother when I needed a ride, my teacher to come open the back door when I got to school late because “my alarm didn’t go off”. I had my life set, if I ever slipped up there was always someone there to help me hide my mess and move on from it.
Here, there’s nothing like that. I’m starting over, completely starting over. No friends, no teachers, no family who is here to help me. Sure I can pick up my cell phone, but a cell phone can’t hug me when I’m upset. A cell phone can’t come get me when I’m feeling too sick to get out of bed. A cell phone can’t even show me those people; all I have is their voice to listen too and a picture frame to stare at. I compare moving to college like learning how to swim. People who go to school not that far from their homes and their families are the kids who get swimming lessons with arm floaties on. They have people there to guide them through their first couple of rough waves. Myself, I’m the kid who is thrown into the pool with nothing on. It’s sink or swim. And, although I can cry for help, it takes much longer for someone to come help me, because I don’t know who to call down here. I can have people yell tips of what to do, but no one can jump in and show me what to do. And although most the time I feel like I’m sinking further and further, I’m fighting harder and harder to keep myself afloat. I’m trying so hard to catch up to those kids with the arm floaties. I’m trying so hard to make life what it was like back home, or at least somewhat like it was.

It’s hard to picture that everyone is going through the exact same thing. You don’t realize that a huge part of life is changing scenes and leaving old ones behind, and when it does happen you feel alone. Part of the confusion is everyone reacting differently to new environment. But we’re slowly realizing that just like we’ve adjusted before we’ll adjust again.