take a walk, write an essay

Okay so here I am underneath the roof of this little cove area by Patterson Hall. It is dusty and dark under here and gloomy outside. I'm kinda nervous because I'm sitting in front of 2 windows and there cold be a class in there, but the blinds are closed, so I doubt I'm visible to them. Tho loud sound of passing trucks is greatly distracting to me. So far I am distracted and nervous. Another distraction is the train for sure. But the main affect this setting has on me is a sense of gloominess. Actually, that has been pretty much a continuous feeling in my last month at Memphis, overwhelmed and gloomy. I am still trying to figure out how in the world I affect my surroundings, being on campus. How do I affect this place when there are like 20,000 other people here? I just blend in with all the other people wearing Tiger t-shirts and worrying about their safety. But I have to believe that somewhere, somehow, I am leaving my mark and affecting my surroundings. Atleast I hope I am. How awful would it be to have absolutely no affect whatsoever? Then i would just be dead weight, something nobody wants around. I would be just a complete waste of space. I guess since I am one of the only people out here under this area, I have to be affecting my surroundings somewhat since humans to tend to affect their surroundings, i just haven't quite figured out how yet.